The Wrong Man by A. S. Kelly

Author:A. S. Kelly [Kelly, A. S.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A. S. Kelly

Thirty-One

Leo

Noel pokes his head into my room as I’m buttoning my shirt in front of the mirror.

“Did I miss something?”

I laugh nervously. “I’m going out.”

“Okay.”

I turn to him. “To be honest, I’m going out but not out.”

Noel studies me, confused.

“To Silas’. Silas’ house. He’s invited me to dinner at his house.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t know what else to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want to. You’re not sixteen, and I’m not your dad.”

I exhale. “I’m nervous.”

“I can see that.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Noel steps into my room and sits down on my bed.

“Would talking to someone about it help clear things up?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is there anything you do know?”

“That I’m nervous. Really nervous.”

Noel smiles at me. “It’s nice to see you like this. Confusion aside.”

“Really?”

“I haven’t seen that stupid smile on your face for a while. Have you always had all those teeth?”

“Shut up!” I turn back to the mirror and finish buttoning up my shirt, before glancing at my brother in the reflection.

“Can we really talk?”

“What do you want to say?”

“I was married to Rachel. And now I’m going out with a guy.”

“A radical change.”

“Mum and Dad would’ve had a heart attack.”

“Especially Dad,” Noel says, laughing. “But then he’d have understood. It would’ve taken some time, but he’d have got it.”

“You reckon?”

“I don’t know. Dad had his flaws, and he was stubborn…” Noel sighs. “He had a problem with change. But he loved you.”

I’m immediately nostalgic.

Our father died suddenly, overnight. An aneurism. He went to sleep and never woke up. They told us he didn’t suffer at all.

I can’t say the same for Noel. He was the one who found him, realised what had happened, watched over him until I got there. Noel and our dad lived together. They were both alone, and kept each other company, working side-by-side in the bakery. They had a special bond.

At first, I underestimated the impact of that loss. Or maybe I chose not to think about it too deeply. I lived in the city, and had my own life. Here, there was only suffering… And there was him. I basically did run away again, just like I did when I was twenty and Silas told me he was in love with me. I ran off because I was too scared to face everything I didn’t know how to explain.

“Mum would’ve understood, too. Maybe she’d have understood before anyone else – even before you.”

I smile tightly.

I don’t remember much about our mum. She died when I was still a kid. Maybe that’s what brought me so close to Silas, initially. I could feel his grief, which looked so much like my own. He also lost his mother when he was really young, and, like me, was unsure some days of which path to follow – it was as if he were missing someone to take his hand and show him the way. And I… I took his hand, to show him that he’d always find the answer in me. He held me tightly, to show me that, in him, I’d always have a home to come back to.

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